If you are a man and you desire to assert your full being out onto the world, you must become outcome independent.
Being outcome independent doesn’t mean that you are careless and care-free. It also doesn’t mean that you become complacent and give up after a failure. On the contrary, being outcome independent means that you are concentrating all your focus and effort into making things happen instead of being wavered by whatever follows.
When things go well, you don’t stop to bask in your vain glory and become stagnant.
When things don’t go well, you don’t become emotionally shaken and discouraged to a point of giving up.
Whatever the outcome, you focus on the only area that you do have total control over: your actions. In contrast, you have no control whatsoever over the outcome. Outcome can only teach you what was done well and what could be done better next time. While you are being outcome independent, you should always try to learn what you can before moving on.
Being outcome independent also solves the problem of getting started. When you worry about the outcome, you lose focus on the here and now—your willingness to get started will suffer as a result. And even if you do get started on the task, the prospect of the outcome will only distract you from making a total effort. This is something that is observed in professional sports when athletes ‘choke’ and fail as a result of thinking too much about the outcome rather than the process.
By being outcome independent, you are recognizing that life runs in continuous cycles as opposed to it going from point A to point B. It’s a recognition that it’s the journey that matters, not the destination.
During the Vietnam War, a senior Vietcong captain was interviewed and when asked whether he thought that the Vietcong could win the war, he said no. Later, when he was asked if he thought the US could win the war, he also said no. This is not an error of contradiction. Quite simply, the Vietcong were not interested in the outcome of the war. The outcome was irrelevant to them when fighting for what they believed in. Their only concern was to fight for their independence with all their combined effort and abilities. Even the fates of their own lives didn’t matter as evidenced by the fact that many sported tattoos of their motto: ‘Born in the North to Die in the South.’ Vietnam didn’t defeat the military superpower of the world by being feeble and concerned about the outcome of the war.
The way to achievement is through undivided determination towards a goal without being attached to the end result.
At a personal level, being outcome independent also makes you a stronger man.
Masculinity is strongly correlated with stoicism. A strong and mature man is stoic to the events around him. He remains cool and collected so that his faculties of mind are not disrupted. He is stoic to disappointment, pain, and suffering, as well as to the shallow pleasures and petty prides that life offers. He doesn’t waste time crying in self-pity nor does he degrade himself by begging for mercy. He is clear about both his intention and what he sets out to achieve. He does not let small matters and unfavourable outcomes to influence him. He burns with passion yet is as solid as a stone in his determination. People look up to these men for guidance.
Here is something you should ask yourself: What outcomes concern you?
Are you afraid to fail? Are you afraid of being rejected? Are you afraid of going broke? Are you afraid that you will miss out in life? Are you afraid that you will suffer?
These are all just fears that hold you down and limit your existence. Act now to dispel these fears, do not let them occupy your mind. Deep inside, you already know what you want—now is the time to go after it.