Shame is a powerful emotion. It is also a social tool used by groups to control their individual members.
To be shamed is to be labeled and ostracized. It is the death of your very identity—sometimes even in a literal sense.
In societies like ours where the use of brute force is largely absent, the next worst thing to an actual physical violence is to be shamed. Losing your face, job, and friends by public shaming is a real possibility.
In our culture, having the wrong political opinions or even displaying normal masculine behaviour can get you in trouble. The cultural elites, who have their own ideas about how everyone should think and act, have created guidelines on what is normal or abnormal, acceptable or unacceptable. If you stray out of line, you’ll be labeled as a racist, homophobe, or a creep. Don’t believe the lies about freedom of speech or respect of diversity.
No matter what they tell us, we don’t live in a world where everyone’s opinions are respected. We live in a hypersensitive victim culture where precious feelings of the weak matter more than anything else. And we know it’s not going to stop—the more that the society coddles the weak, the weaker and more sensitive they will become. It won’t be long before they find new things to be offended about and new things they would like to have censored. It just won’t stop.
But this issue of shaming goes beyond censorship, fear of job loss, or even ostracism. The issue of shame is an issue of your very being for manhood itself is under attack. Through shaming, the society as a whole is emasculating and infantilizing men. Everyday, you are made to think whether what you’re doing makes you a good boy or not. You’re being conditioned to ask for permission just to be a man.
We live in a gynocentric society that wants to marginalize and control men through shame. Masculinity is touted as being toxic and men as a whole are considered “terrible” by the media and the academia alike. In schools, boys starting from a young age are given drugs for not being able to sit quietly like the girls. By the time they reach college, they will be greeted by new laws that were made specifically to ensure that men stay “afraid.”
Why should any man accept living under such degrading conditions of fear? Even if you conform to the cultural expectations imposed upon you to preserve your job, it is only by submitting to fear. You are essentially being made to be afraid of your own thoughts and behaviours.
Even in basic interactions with women, men are made to fear being considered a ‘creep’ or a pervert. Be too bold and you’ll be seen as an asshole and be too respectful and you’ll be seen as a weak man not worth the time. Men are made to grovel just to be able to speak to a woman. Men must continuously monitor their own behaviour to ensure that the woman feels safe and secure. Men need women’s permission and acceptance just to simply be.
The anti-male shaming and the atmosphere of fear that it generates for men is not normal and must be recognized as such. You must transcend above the society and culture that demonizes you.
Be unapologetic as to who you are and what you want. Be antifragile. Caring too much about the opinions of others is weak.
Act as a man would. Exude your masculine energy boldly. Don’t be ashamed of your masculine drives.
Let others throw labels at you, but refuse to accept them. Only you get to define yourself.
But beware that this is not a permission to be undisciplined. This is not a way of excusing yourself of weakness and disorder. There is a difference between rejecting toxic shame and being shameless. To reject shame, you must have your masculine identity in place first. That said, there is no guideline to follow; you must set your own standards.
Be free. Be yourself.