There is one basic truth about women that all men need to know. The truth is that women don’t (or can’t) view men the same way that men think they do.
Inexperienced and naive men project their desires for love and affection onto women and falsely believe that they want the same thing. Whereas a man sees a woman as an object for love and sex—sometimes even going as far as putting her on a pedestal—a woman sees a man differently. She sees a man in terms of what he can do for her and what value he holds for her. Men are but a tool or a utility to be used for her purposes.
Whereas a man devotes himself to a woman by offering her his love, support, and protection, a woman is not capable of reciprocating in kind. This is apparent by the fact that men are willing to sacrifice themselves to save women while the reverse almost never happens. Women are only capable of extending such generosity towards their own children.
Women see men in terms of what he can offer her. He is a means to an end. When a man loves a woman, he is committed to her; when a woman loves a man, she is merely expressing her dependence for the value he provides. For this reason, woman will readily leave a man once he is no longer able to provide value for her or if she is able to secure a man of higher value.
Women view and judge men according to the different areas of value which they are capable of providing for. The list below is by no means exhaustive, but it summarizes the major areas of value that modern women expect to derive from men. Most men are usually capable of providing for more than one type of value as these roles are not always mutually exclusive. Men are also easily capable of gaining or losing their ability to provide these specific values. They are ordered from the most to least valuable with the first four creating attraction and the last two representing values that are derived from low status men.
1) Resource Provider
First, women value men for the material support they can provide for her. She is, essentially, biologically hard-wired to select a man who is best able to obtain resources for her and her children. For a woman, attracting a man and getting him to commit to her is the same as securing and extracting resources—it’s an act of investment.
Although this is the most important value that a man can provide for a woman, if a woman is able to provide for herself, her attraction for men in general will wane while further affluence will raise her standards to heights that will leave her perpetually dissatisfied.
In spite of being the area of primary importance for women, marriage based solely on a man’s ability to provide materially and financially is a house built on sand. These marriages lead to unhappiness for both man and woman, and unsurprisingly, will start to cause conflict that often end with divorce.
Women value men in terms of how dependable and strong they are for her to lean on. This is probably the closest a woman will get to what many men think is her capacity for love. Woman longs to depend on a strong man who will act as an anchor and be a stabilizing force in her life. She wants to be led and guided by a man with a mission of his own. This is a man who is in control of himself and his environment. Many women, in fact, consciously and unconsciously crave to be dominated by a strong man who will control her. It is for this reason alone that women are repulsed by supplicating men who try to reverse the role by placing the woman above him to be his anchor—a role that he should be in charge of. Why should she be the one to provide value for him?
This also explains why women are attracted to men who exhibit the dark triad traits of being narcissistic, manipulative, and psychopathic even though they lack the stability that women claim to desire. This is because they are attracted to these men’s self-centered egotism and pursuit of power, which they know won’t be swayed by an external force—such as the woman herself.
Women value men for their entertainment value. This entertainment value comes in two forms: fun and thrill. With fun, she is the queen and he is the jester for her amusement. He is the playful monkey that occupies her attention to stave off boredom. If he manages to be more entertaining than her smartphone, then he is considered to have an attractive personality to her. Other men who refuse to play the clown are appalled by how receptive women become to those who do, but their envy is a testament of how effective the clown game is.
With thrill, the man merely needs to live a life of adventure and excitement. It’s not necessary for him to directly provide the woman with the experience of thrill, since she merely needs to be in his presence to feel it. Thrill also comes in the form of a physically attractive man who excites the female senses. These men provide sexual entertainment for her that most other men can’t.
Women see high value man as a status symbol. We already know that women love to surround themselves with objects that embellish their looks and status to feed their vanity. Women spend large amounts of their time and money on cosmetics, designer clothes, jewelries, and other luxury items to flaunt their status. For the same reason, they like to have a high status man with the above mentioned traits to be their partner. A highly prized man that inspires envy in other women is the ultimate symbol of status for her. That being said, the man doesn’t necessarily have to possess any real value to achieve the status of being desired by women, being famous alone is enough to attract women through social proofing. This is how actors, athletes, musicians, and even serial killers are able to court attention from their female admirers.
Women use men as a source of self-validation. Young women today use social media to court attention from vast number of men to feel like a celebrity without having to accomplish anything. They love to feed on men’s adulation not because they are interested in pursuing relationship with them, but because they like to have their sense of self-importance inflated beyond their real value. For a woman, any man who provides validation for her is of low status. She understands well that only a man who has nothing else to offer her will resort to showering her with attention, compliments, and presumptuous assistance to attract her. She will simply take what is offered and slip away. She wants to avoid giving any false hopes to these men in fear of having them pester her for something more.
Women see men they associate with, but have no intention of having romantic or sexual relations as ‘friends’. Male friends can provide a woman with emotional support, attention, and validation without her having to give anything away. They are the ‘nice guys’ who offer women thankless services. By their nature, men who readily befriend women are weak, emasculated, and supplicant. The male friend often seeks to gradually improve his status to become her romantic partner, but it is far too late for him. As soon as a woman categorizes a man as a friend, his chance of becoming anything more is quite slim, that is, unless he is able to transform himself into a completely different man with high status while her value drops with age. Because male friends are reliable source of her many needs, but not valuable enough to be her lover, the woman must ensure that none of these men try to crawl out of the so-called friendzone and make things complicated for her. If they should fail to provide value or if they start to demand something in return, these male friends can be easily discarded by women for women have no sense of loyalty.
Women see all other men that do not belong in the above categories as being worthless. They provide no value for the woman, so they may as well not exist. They are the invisible non-entities that drift around her while she goes about living her life. These men only become visible for a brief moment when they are needed to provide a simple service for her. Many of these weak men who constantly seek female approval will be more than glad to step in to be the knight in shining armour. He secretly hopes that he can become someone to be cherished by her, but she simply does not care. To a woman, once this man has completed his services, he belongs back in the ‘worthless’ category. In spite of this, these men continue to behave the same way as before and provide services for women to enjoy the minuscule pleasure of being visible for a brief moment. When not being of service, these men are nothing but nuisance with their desperate attempts to become visible to women. Women simply do not want to be bothered into acknowledging that these men even exist. They just shoo these types of men away like they would with flies. Women prefer that these men remain invisible and out of their lives. Any man who fails to do so can easily be shamed and controlled into withdrawing by labelling him as a “creep.”
Here, a vital truth is revealed: Women do not care about…
How deeply a man is in love with her.
How intelligent and cultured he is.
How nice and polite of a gentleman he is.
How sensitive and caring he is.
How much effort he makes to show his devotion to her.
How much he values and respects her.
How much he has done for her in the past.
How much sacrifice he is willing to make for her in the future.
And so on.
If anything, many of these characteristics are bound to repulse women as it demonstrates signs of weakness and neediness.
There are also demographic variations you should be aware of. Women of traditional and Eastern cultures tend to be more drawn towards men’s ability to provide resources than their Western counterparts. Younger Western women are mainly drawn to the entertainment value in men until they become old and start looking for a high-status man to marry. Much of the popular axioms regarding modern relationships (e.g. gold diggers, assholes get all the girls, nice guys finish last, being friendzoned, alpha fucks and beta bucks, etc.) make sense without contradictions when you consider all the social and demographic factors and the different areas of attraction that women have for men.
Much of the misguided men’s failures to attract women comes down to the discrepancy between what these men think women want and what women actually want. Men must throw away all the outdated and childish notions of love they saw on television and films as boys. They must come to terms with the realities of modern sex relations as a first step towards leading a healthier and more successful relationship with women.
If you liked this article, read ‘Man’s Fight for Existence‘ to learn the truth about masculinity and the modern world that we live in.