I have noticed something new about me: that I don’t like being told what is right or wrong, or whether one path is good or not. No. I refuse to believe that the world is so simple. Instead, I want to experience the world for myself. I will to discover and live life my way.
There is no greater teacher in life than life itself, and it is only through direct experiences that we learn from life. We may share our experiences with one another through words but words are mere shadows of the reality we’re missing out on. Others may guide us with their time-refined wisdom, but ultimately, you must claim your own life experiences.
I will not be dictated by the naysayers and I refuse to be blinded by dogma of all sorts disguised as principles. The only thing that will dictate my experiences will be my own mind and body which I command with my own will.
And I will to experience it all: pain, pleasure, domination, submission, love, hate, despair, indifference, excitement, relaxation, focus, distraction, euphoria, suffering, reality, fantasy, and the rest. My taste will become refined with time when I experience variety.
I don’t want to be told that something is too dangerous or impossible; I will be both the undertaker and the judge of that. I will not be discouraged to discover and experiment on my own, and I am willing to fail many times over if I have to.
I know I will make mistakes. And yes, when do I make a mistake I expect all the wimps and losers to crawl out of their shelter and call me stupid in many variations. You can’t call something a challenge without all the critics. There is nothing worth embarking on which does not polarize people.
I will experience the extremes to decide what is right for me for specific circumstances. I have indulged myself fully and obsessively with television shows, movies, and video games, and I have also experienced what it is like to completely forsake them. And because I have reached both extremes, I am a better judge of their influence than anyone else can claim. No one can lecture me on their pleasures or evils. I’ve also experienced the opposing extremes of hatred and compassion, discipline and indulgence, domination and surrender, and much more.
I experienced pain of all sorts. I know that pain will enlighten me in ways no amount of joy and happiness can—it has enabled me to grow stronger. I look forward to conquering even greater pains in the future. We should not neglect the experience of something we may not necessarily find pleasing.
I want to try things for myself instead of experiencing them vicariously. Life is all about trial and error, and we humans don’t do much of it anymore in our closed and controlled societies where everyone is an expert. No, instead, we are dictated. People today want everything to be streamlined for ease and comfort. We have become slaves to machines that were meant to serve us. Even something that is supposed to be adventurous like travel has now become a controlled, conveyor-belt like experience.
It is especially important for me to experience human nature through direct interaction. Human beings are organic and while much of our behaviours can be studied for patterns, it is not something that can be stored in knowledge. Many people forget that intuition makes up the other half of our intelligence. Then there are those who rely neither on knowledge or intuition and fall into the trap of ideals. Men among them develop an unhealthy and idealized image of womanhood only to suffer the consequences.
Our society has far too much restriction on our experiences. There are still much more that I look forward to that I had previously neglected and shied away from. I have begun to recognize the primal drive within me that had been repressed into an oblivion by the System that wants to keep me under control. There are much more possibilities in life if you decide to break the rules and take greater risks. And if society gets in the way of my life, defying and destroying that society will be the most supreme experience that I will be undertaking in my short existence.
There is no reality like the one you feel in your own fucking guts with each breath and the beat of your own heart. Your existence originates with your body, not your mind. You’ll do well if you remember that fact in every moment of your life.
I have yet to meet a greater teacher than life itself and I know it will only be truer as time goes on.